


be my mistake

by kuresoto



Series: left over treats ❤️ [3]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Jedi Ben Solo, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Senator Rey, they're both dumb af
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-07-23 20:36:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20014441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuresoto/pseuds/kuresoto
Summary: In which Senator Rey Niima gets kidnapped and her bodyguard, Jedi Ben Solo, must go and save her, much to his exasperation. Rey had always insisted she didn't need a bodyguard and now look at her.Except there's more to Rey than meets the eye, as Ben is about to find out, and in the heat of the moment, he accidentally lets something he's kept close to heart slip and everything just goes to hell afterwards.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tiara_of_Sapphires](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiara_of_Sapphires/gifts).



> happy birthday victoria <3 this is a treat i had started like 8 months ago and never finished/couldn't finish before the rffa exchange deadline ~~and honestly, it's taken me this long to think of a summary and even then, i'm not satisfied with it~~. it's still not done but i figured, sure why not throw this up in hopes it'll bring a smile to your face :) i had 2 options: finish this quick and relatively painless or drag this a bit longer and make it hurt more. obviously, i'm going with the second option, which is why it's not done yet lel 
> 
> prompt: Senator!Rey and Jedi!Ben AU where Rey gets kidnapped for ransom
> 
> unbeta-d so bear with me /sweats
> 
> also, i know fuck all about politics, irl or sw-verse /more sweats

Ben gritted his teeth as he read the transmission for the fifth time. _Of course_ out of all the people assigned to Senator Rey, he was the one who had to deal with this. And _of-kriffing-course_ Rey had to go get herself kidnapped after repeatedly claiming she didn’t need a bodyguard, much less a Jedi protecting her. What. A. Goddamn. Laugh.

Now, standing at the entrance of her captor, Ben couldn’t help but roll his eyes at how cliche this felt. The only thing that could top this off was if it was a Hutt who had kidnapped her, which thank fuck, was not the case. No, instead it was some other syndicate who had demanded a rare mineral that the New Republic had just discovered and were keeping under wraps. Again, so much for keeping it secret if crime syndicates knew about it already.

Honestly, Ben lost track of all the syndicates that had emerged recently. There were like insects, coming out of nowhere when one of the Hutts died a few years ago, all vying to take their place amongst the other crime families. Ben hoped whoever had taken Rey didn’t have the same approach the Hutts did. He had heard stories of his own mother being kidnapped by Jabba The Hutt and for the same to happen to Rey…

A sudden heat spread across Ben’s face and down his neck. His mother was less than amused at being put in a bikini, and he would imagine Rey would be the same. As much as Ben tried to stop it, the image of Rey in a similar bikini slithered into his mind, teasing him. 

His grip on the case tightened. No, he wasn’t going to do this. No way. He was a Jedi. He _couldn’t_ , it was wrong. Besides, Rey was annoying as hell. 

Senator Rey Niima from Jakku was an enigma. A literal nobody from the desert planet Jakku, Rey surprised the Senate of the New Republic when she showed up in Hanna City with nothing but the clothes on her back, spouting nonsense about grand designs and ideas for The New Republic. Everyone had laughed and brushed her aside, rolling their eyes with comments of how a scavenger from Jakku couldn’t possibly understand how governing a galaxy worked. No one but Leia Organa took her seriously. She took Rey under her wing and mentored her personally; recognizing talent when she saw it.

Being mentored by Ben’s own mother, it was no wonder Rey didn’t take any shit from him. It was hard to be intimidated by someone whose baby stories you had heard all about. 

Ben’s ears turned pink; he vividly remembered the way Rey laughed when Leia regalled tales of his naked baby days. The Jedi were supposed to be respected for the intense training they devoted their life to and yet, Rey would always wave him off like he was nothing. Or rather, she cared little to none about the Force and the people who practiced it. 

Uncle Luke never seemed bothered by her attitude. If anything, he just smiled, humouring her whenever Rey spoke against the Jedi. It seemed like Ben was the only one whose feathers Rey always ruffled. 

His dad _loved_ her. Of course he would, he shared similar sentiments about the Force and Jedi. 

And because she was Leia’s protege, Rey was always around whenever he visited. Hell, sometimes it was just Rey who was around when he took time off from his training, the woman hanging around with the excuse of ‘needing to get away from the politicians for a while’. To be fair, Ben would do the same but _she was so vexing_. 

It was so annoying how amazing Rey was by just _existing_.

She had an aura about her that made her likeable. Maybe it was her strong integrity, or maybe it was how her cheeks dimpled at the simplest things, like how the expansive oceans of Chandrila always took her breath away. Ben had lost count of how many times he caught her staring out of the window. She was admiring the scenery and he was admiring her. 

At twenty-seven, Rey took over Leia’s role on the Senate when she retired, continuing to shine like the sun in his life.

...the sun who had absolutely no interest in him.

Not that they could date anyways. He was a Jedi and personal attachments were forbidden, despite Luke telling him repeatedly that they weren’t. Ben had read the old Jedi scrolls, he knew that personal attachments would lead to disaster. Look how his grandfather turned out. 

What he hated the most was that she never seemed surprised to see him whenever he turned up on her office door, seeking her advice. 

_“Ben, you need to chill,” Rey said without lifting her head from her datapad._

_“I am chill,” Ben replied, clenching his teeth until his jaw ached._

_“Hmm, could have fooled me. And I thought my job was hard. Seriously, being a Jedi cannot be as hard as you’re making it out to be.”_

Ben shook the memory from his mind. It always felt...different...talking with Rey. Ben had a history of volatile behavior, which was why he was so insistent on becoming a Jedi. It helped slightly, but being around Rey always calmed him down more than reading a Jedi text ever could.

Over the years, the _thing_ he felt for Rey developed into a crush that he continuously tried to dispel. It never worked and only grew when he was assigned to protect her. Their bickering about whether he needed to be there did nothing to dampen his feelings. He must be a masochist, having feelings for someone who didn’t feel the same, not that she had time for an actual relationship.

It didn’t matter. He was her bodyguard. He had a job to do. He had already failed in protecting her, he couldn’t mess up now. 

Drawing himself to his full, intimidating height, Ben knocked on the door and waited for a response.

None came and his shoulders deflated. Had he got the location wrong?

He tried again and still no response.

What the hell?

His temper started to boil and he thumped the door loudly until the hinges rattled. Becoming tired of this exchange already going to shit, Ben whipped out his lightsaber and sliced through the door. 

He expected someone to be inside; at the very least, servants to be scampering around, but the foyer was deserted. What was going on?

With his lightsaber still lit in his hand, Ben ventured deeper into the lair. 

There was minimal lighting and not a soul in sight, so when he heard the unmistakable pitter-patter of someone running towards him, he was automatically on guard. 

Closer and closer until…

If Ben was sloppy like some of the other Jedi, he might have accidentally singed Rey. Fortunately, he deactivated his lightsaber in time for Rey to crash into him.

They fell to the floor with Ben’s arms instinctively wrapping around her. 

“Rey? What the--?”

“Ben! What? Doesn’t matter, there’s no time to waste! We have to get out of here!” Rey scrambled to her feet and yanked Ben to his before rushing to the exit. Her hand remained firmly clasped around his as they flew through the corridors. 

Ben might have blushed or stuttered or ripped his hand from hers, but the loud shouting and lasers firing behind them distracted him from doing so.

“What did you do?” Ben shouted.

“Nothing! Well, not nothing. Something obviously. Something not good, but I got tired of waiting around for something to happen!”

“What? You’re not making any sense!”

“Hang on, let’s get away first before I bore you with the details!”

There was no way whatever Rey had done could be considered boring if it pissed off the crime syndicate _this much_. 

Just as they leapt through the broken front door, Ben jokingly asked, “What did you do? Kill their leader?” 

However, Rey didn’t respond and firmly kept her face forward. Ben narrowed his eyes and stopped running, yanking Rey to a stop.

“What are you doing? They’re going to catch us!” she screeched, desperately pulling him to move. 

“You killed the leader!!” Ben yelled accusingly.

Rey scoffed and waved her hand. “Kill is a strong word. I prefer ‘incapacitated forever’.”

“Rey, _that’s murder_.”

“It’s fine!” Rey said, exasperated. 

“Weren’t you meant to be their prisoner? How did you even get out of your restraints to do anything?!”

“Can we talk about this later? Please?”

Suddenly, a thought crossed Ben’s mind. “Did...did you _seduce the--_ OW!”

“No, I didn’t kriffing seduce them! Oh my god, Ben!”

“Then how?!”

“I USED THE FORCE! Happy?!” Rey shrieked, throwing her hands up in defeat.

Ben gaped at her; he had never seen her this flustered. Between joking with his parents and forcing herself to be professional at work, Rey was always composed and in control. Now, her face was flushed, either from the running or her confession. She was always pretty but her dishevelled appearance made something stir within Ben. Her eyes were wide with her lips parted, chest heaving as she tried to her get breath under control; it was a first to see her like this and it would do things to him if it wasn’t for what she just admitted. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Ben asked, not quite sure if he had heard right.

Rey sighed. “Yeah, I used the dumb Force.”

“But...how?”

Suddenly, Rey’s eyes dropped to the ground, trying her best to avoid his eyes. “Oh, you know...with the training I had?”

“ _You had training_?”

“How else did you think Luke found me? You thought he randomly stumbled on Jakku and found me in the middle of the desert? No!” 

“I don’t know, maybe!” Ben was starting to remember why it was annoying to deal with Rey. She was incredibly private and Ben would have taken it to heart if she wasn’t like that for everyone. It had been more than five years since he met her and this was the first time she was being so open about herself. Sure, he knew inane things about her, like her favorite food and why she loved nature so much, but he never knew what was on her mind. She never spoke about herself or how she felt about things outside of politics. She was the mysterious scavenger who was abandoned on Jakku - that much was known to everyone. Still, it hurt that of all people, Rey didn’t tell Ben about her Force sensitivity. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You never asked! Besides, it doesn’t matter. We need to get out of here!”

She was right. The shouting grew louder each second they spent dawlding outside. “Urgh, fine. Come on,” Ben grumbled, grabbing Rey’s hand as he ran towards his ship. It wasn’t until they were in the cockpit with the planet disappearing behind them that he turned to her. “So, let me get this straight. You’re trained in the Force? This whole time, you knew how to use the Force?”

“Yep,” Rey said, popping the ‘p’. “Why else would I be so against having a bodyguard? I don’t need protecting.”

Ben shrugged his shoulders and fiddled with the controls, mumbling something under his breath.

“What, you think it was because I didn’t like you?” Rey laughed, only to fall silent when Ben didn’t reply. “Oh.”

Ben looked to the side, away from Rey.

“Oh, _Ben_ ,” Rey whispered. 

He couldn’t stay in the cockpit any longer, not when _pity_ was clear as day in her voice. He had hoped his training would help alleviate the throbbing pain in his heart whenever he thought about her, but apparently that would be too easy. All those hours of meditation and training and _praying_ that he would get ‘better’, were for nothing. 

And now Rey knew. 

He didn’t want it to be awkward between them. That was why he wished his one-sided love to go away. 

This would never have happened if Luke never assigned him as her bodyguard! Goddammit!

Ben flicked the ship to autopilot and escaped the small, suffocating confines of the cockpit, putting as much distance between himself and Rey as possible.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read and/or commented! Misunderstandings and horrible communication only gets worse from here on out rip

Rey hadn’t trained with the Force in the conventional way. 

For one, her training was on her terms and ‘consistent’ wasn’t the best way to describe it. 

She was nineteen when Luke Skywalker found her.

Luke had been tracking down Force-sensitives at the time, with the help of a compass he had found in a Jedi Temple. Originally stopping on Jakku to recalculate the coordinates his compass was pointing him towards, he never thought he would find his target on _Jakku_ , of all places. 

And he never thought the person he had found would be so stubborn and unwilling to leave that desert wasteland. 

Rey was never one to believe in the fairy tales told to children at night. That was what the Force was, just a fairytale to her, told to scavengers and slavers to give them enough hope to push on to the next day. 

She knew all about the Jedi and the Force and barely gave them a second thought, so for Luke to appear at her AT-AT one day, spouting some nonsense that she could be one, Rey thought him to be mad. She had felt a bit guilty when she turned him away. She could tell he had been searching long for her, but she wasn’t going to leave Jakku...not when she was waiting for her parents to come back. Anyone else would die to be in her position, but Rey couldn’t care less about that Force business. 

After much pestering, Rey finally caved in and agreed to receive basic training from Luke. If she wasn’t going to leave Jakku then Luke decided to stay instead, determined to make her understand what she could do. 

It was bothersome. The training had taken up a lot of time Rey normally used for scavenging and Unkar grew suspicious the longer she stayed away. She had to painstakingly explain to Luke why she couldn’t just abandon her life as a scavenger, even if he provided her with enough food to leave that life. 

Rey had let out a long sigh of relief when Luke finally understood. 

Luke tried to visit twice a week to see how she was progressing. Sometimes he was only able to come once a week, commenting that he couldn’t leave his nephew alone with the other students for long anymore. 

At the mention of Luke’s nephew, Rey assumed him to be a child. Why else would Luke be unable to leave him alone?

Luke had let a sharp bark of laughter when Rey told him such. 

“God, he certainly acts like it sometimes,” Luke had mumbled before correcting her combat stance. 

He didn’t elaborate and Rey didn’t hear about his nephew anymore. 

It wasn’t until a year had passed that Rey finally asked, “So, what’s the point to all this?”

Luke, in the middle of explaining the different lightsaber techniques, paused in his explanation and stared at her. “I’m sorry, what?”

“This. All of this. What am I supposed to do with it? Sure, it’s made scavenging easier but it’s a bit of a waste to give me all this knowledge.”

“Ah, see? That is why you should leave Jakku and come study with me at my academy. There’s nothing wrong with Jakku but--”

Rey raised her hand and stopped him. “No, no, it’s fine. Jakku is a hole.”

“It is a hole,” Luke agreed with a grimace. “You could learn so much more with my other pupils.”

“Like your five-year-old nephew?”

Luke snorted. “Yeah, that kid. Being around other Force-sensitives would help you in the long run.” He looked around and kicked at ground. For her training, they had found an abandoned area that was seldom travelled. “Being surrounded by all this sand really hinders your connection with the Force.”

Rey had rolled her eyes at his words. Every now and then, Luke would try to convince her to leave Jakku. This was no different and every time, she would decline. 

“How about trying to find your parents with the Force? You’ve been training for a year, you have a better grasp at it than before I came. Just...feel it around you. See what it shows you.” 

Rey had looked dubious but humored him anyways. 

The Force had showed her...a lot. It was different to her other meditative sessions. It had felt like she was zooming through the stars, feeling life at the tip of her fingers. It would have been amazing if it wasn’t for the foul taste at the back of her mouth, feeling the inequality and mistreatment of people in the galaxy. She followed the Force like a child, holding onto the golden thread of life until it lead her mind back to Jakku.

And then there was nothing.

That was how she found out that no one was coming back for her. 

She was alone. 

When she opened her eyes, Luke had a troubled look on his face, but Rey barely saw it. With unshed tears, she got up from her seated position and dusted the sand from her clothes. 

“I’m done,” she had said. Her tone was final but the gentle hand Luke placed on her shoulder made her crumble. 

Still standing tall, Rey balled her fists and let her tears fall. 

Almost twenty years of her life wasted, because she believed in something that was never going to happen. 

Rey finally agreed to leave Jakku with Luke but she wasn’t going to become a Jedi or train with the Force anymore. That single experience had burnt Rey and left her shaken. She never wanted to feel that way ever again and she’d be lying if she said that completely trusted the Force after that. 

She didn’t tell Luke of her worries, only following him back to his academy to give her time to gather her thoughts.

And that was when she met Ben Solo.

Or rather, saw him from a distance.

His deep voice had rung through the air as Rey followed Luke around the perimeter of his academy. It made Rey stop in her tracks, the honey-like voice dripping down her spine and immersing her senses. She turned around, searching for the owner of the voice, and found him immediately. 

He towered over the other students and while everyone else wore sandy coloured robes, his were shades of dark brown and black. Rey couldn’t see his face clearly from where she stood, but she saw his full head of hair; thick, black locks that brushed just past his shoulders. 

She briefly wondered what it would feel like it run her fingers through it with her nails raking over his scalp, only for the passing thought to give rise to more inappropriate ones.

Like a rubber band, Rey snapped from her reverie, heart pounding from the sudden thoughts. She didn’t know if it had anything to with the Force or her state of mind, but she couldn’t take her eyes off him. 

“Who’s that?” Rey had asked before she could stop herself, finger already pointing at the dark man.

Luke, not noticing she had stopped a ways back, turned around and followed her pointed finger. “Huh? Oh, that’s my five-year-old nephew.”

Rey gaped at him. “He’s nothing like a five-year-old.”

“Yeah, that’s why it was so hilarious,” Luke said with a grin. 

Rey forced her eyes from Luke’s nephew. There was no way she could stay at the Academy when that...that _person_ was around. She could barely concentrate on what Luke was saying and they hadn’t even spoken yet! Hell, Rey didn’t even know his name. Studying with him? Uh-uh, no way. Out of the question. 

Luke must have noticed the change, for he didn’t object when she insisted on leaving. Having nowhere to go, he offered his sister’s place as a temporary home until she figured out what to do next. 

It wasn’t until meeting Luke’s sister, Leia Organa, that Rey was able to forget about the man. 

Leia was like the mother she never had, and the role model she never knew she needed. The Force had showed Rey the state of the galaxy and since becoming a Jedi was the last thing on her mind, becoming a politician made perfect sense. It was her chance to make _real_ changes and prove her worth. No, she wasn’t going to be some scavenger who wasted away for no reason. If she made a significant change, then maybe…just maybe she wouldn’t be forgotten ever again. 

Charmed by her enthusiasm, Leia was more than happy to help. 

There was much work to be done if Rey wanted to make a difference. Between catching up on the rich history of the galaxy to understanding the governing bodies of major planetary systems, Rey hadn’t spared Luke’s nephew another thought. If anything, she totally forgot about him amidst her busy schedule.

-

It had taken her an embarrassingly long time to realise it meant that Luke’s nephew was Leia's son, and by that time, it was too late.

-

Rey pressed her lips together in a valiant attempt to even out her breathing. Each inhale she took resulted in a trembling exhale, the subsequent exhales shakier than the last. By all appearances, she looked unperturbed by what had just transpired, but in reality, she was a second away from falling apart. She didn’t know how much time had passed since Ben left the cockpit with a look on his face that Rey could only describe as a mix of shock and aversion. 

She kept replaying their conversation back in her mind. 

He...he had refused to look at her. He couldn’t wait to get away from her once the confession accidentally slipped past her lips. 

“What, you think it was because I didn’t like you?” They had always joked with each other. Rey thought if she laughed it off then he would miss the slight crack in her voice, except Ben didn’t respond. _Oh god_ , he’s known the whole time, Rey thought, eyes widening with her heart beating in her chest, so quickly she thought she might pass out. “Oh. Oh, _Ben_.” It came out almost like a whine from Rey. 

She had stared at him, waiting and hoping for some kind of response, and the one she got made her wish she had never left Jakku. If she was never found...if she never met Ben, then she would never know of the heartbreak she was experiencing now. Even finding out that no one was coming back for her had hurt infinitely less than Ben’s retreating back. 

And like that, Rey gave in. Her rigid back crumbled, each segment of her spine curving as she brought her knees close to her chest, hugging them tightly. She buried her face into her knees and took deep breaths, trying to keep her impending panic attack at bay while wishing the past hour never happened. 

-

It had been so long since she used the Force. She only intended on using it to escape her restraints and persuade the guard to let her go, but after her unfortunate run in that resulted in the death of a crime boss, which Rey still didn’t think was _technically_ her fault, it felt like electricity was at her fingertips. It had been so easy to ignore the call to it after being totally isolated from that nonsense, but now with the Force thrumming through her body, not so much. 

It didn’t help that she felt Ben _everywhere_ without even trying. 

His steps resonated throughout the transport shuttle. They were heavier than normal, as if he wanted to stomp around like a child but decided against it last minute. He was spending so much energy on reigning himself in, forcing himself to remain composed like the Jedi he was, that it made the hair on her skin stand.

It only confirmed her suspicions. 

She was already drenched in the guilt knowing that their relationship was never going to be the same. Now she loathed herself, feeling Ben’s disappointment in every corner of the transport shuttle. She felt like she was suffocating. Even in the moderate sized shuttle, it felt like she was trapped with the walls slowly closing in.

Thankfully, they were close to Chandrila. 

Rey started to count down the minutes until she could escape with her barely-there dignity. If she concentrated on the star clusters passing by, then maybe she could stomach the thought of facing Ben again. 

She was partially thankful that he remained on the other side of the ship. It made things less awkward between them, or so Rey kept telling herself, trying her best to scrub the back of Ben’s head from her mind.


	3. Chapter 3

“Ah good, you’re back! All went well, I take it?” Leia greeted as Ben fell onto their sofa with a heavy sigh. “Or not?” 

“No, it went fine. Better even. There’s one less crime syndicate to worry about and our favorite Senator is back, safe and sound,” Ben said with a slight bite to his tone. 

Leia gave her son an odd look. “You don’t seem happy about that.”

“It’s...it’s fine. I just…” Ben paused again and covered his face with his forearms. “I just need to hide out here for a while.”

“Mmm, okay,” Leia said after a beat, not sounding too pleased with Ben’s vagueness, but she left him alone all the same. 

He listened to his mother leave, padding to somewhere else in their house. It wasn’t until he was alone that he took his arms from his face and stared at the picture that hung on the wall. There were a bunch of frames, all with photos at different points in time, but one in particular held Ben’s attention. It was from a few years ago, taken during dinner at some Core Planet restaurant. He couldn’t remember which restaurant or which planet they were on; all he could remember was how happy Rey was. 

It was a celebratory dinner in honor of Rey being elected after his mother stepped down as Senator. No one doubted for a second that Rey would be elected but Rey was surprised nevertheless. Like in the photo, she was smiling for the whole night. Ben hadn’t properly interacted with her before then, so that night stood out in his mind. 

He knew Rey was capable and impressive. As much as it was a knee jerk reaction to think Leia’s successor was some decrepit old man, he knew Rey was anything but. They hadn’t interacted much but he knew what she looked like at least. Despite all this, it didn’t prepare him for the _real_ Rey. Not the one he saw on promotional posters or on the HoloNet, but the one who was an actual human being and not some mindless politician. 

The way she smiled, her whole face lighting up with her cheeks dimpling...he loved seeing her so carefree, laughing the way she always did.

And he thought that would be it. 

They had seldom crossed paths, somehow missing each other in past Organa-Solo-Skywalker events, so he assumed it would remain the same. He was a Jedi and she was a Senator. There was no need to interact.

What a fool he was. 

Keeping his cool, he accepted his new role as Rey’s bodyguard. Neither was happy about it, Ben thinking it was a waste of his time while Rey was insulted that she even needed one. 

They weren’t hostile to each other, they knew the decision was out of their hands, but they weren’t exactly friends…

...until one day, they were. 

Ben had no idea how their relationship went from begrudging colleagues to how they were now. It just...happened. 

_“What’s this?” Rey asked, pointing at the plastic container dumped on her desk without raising her head._

_“Noodles from the Lower Levels. They’re your favorite, aren’t they?” Ben said, getting comfortable in the plush armchair in her office. It was the only chair in the goddamn building that didn’t make him feel like a giant._

_“But you got something from around the corner.”_

_He shrugged as he unwrapped his tip-yip wrap. “It’s fine. It meant I could get away from the Tower for a while.”_

The place where anyone intimately involved with the New Republic worked was dubbed as The Tower. Ben hated it. He hated everything about it. He hated how the Force felt muffled whenever he was there, or how everyone carried themselves like they had a stick up their ass.

Secreting himself to Rey’s office made it bearable. 

Being around her just felt nice.

And she never pried when he didn’t agree with Luke on something, resulting in Ben to stomp into her office afterwards. She always kept her head down but was ready to give her undivided attention when he was willing to talk about it. 

Honestly, until her kidnapping, Ben was convinced he was assigned as Rey’s bodyguard because Luke’s couldn’t tell him himself to take a holiday. He didn’t think of self as the ‘best’ Jedi or the ‘hardest working’ student of the bunch, but the amount of hours Ben had dedicated to learning about the Force had outnumbered the other pupils. He didn’t boast about it. Hell, he barely acknowledged it.

It was all necessary for _him_ to control the darkness within. 

It was something that he only spoke about with Rey, which helped him greatly. 

With Rey, he didn’t need to hide, but now after his bumbling actions in the transport shuttle, he wasn’t sure. 

He had waited until the final moment to return to the cockpit. He didn’t know what to expect. Maybe a joke, or nervous laughter, _something_ to reassure him that his confession was received loud and clear. Whether she accepted or rejected his feelings, he could deal with it later, but for now he just needed some acknowledgement.

Rey was where he had left her, sitting in the copilot’s seat with her back ramrod straight. Discomfort...awkwardness…

_Rejection._

But her silence could mean anything, right? It wasn’t necessarily rejection...right?

She didn’t say anything and kept quiet until they touched down in Chandrila. 

Ben had been hyping himself up during their entry through the atmosphere, mentally encouraging himself to say something before they disembarked. 

Finally after what felt like eons, he turned to Rey and with a deep breath, he started “I--”

“Thank you,” Rey said at the exact same time. 

The pair snapped their mouths shut, staring at each other with wide eyes. 

“You go first,” Ben insisted, not sure he heard right.

Rey smiled tightly, body still tense. “Thank you, Ben. For today. Even though I had things under control, you still came. Thanks.”

 _But no thanks_ went unsaid. 

Rey lowered her gaze, focusing on the space just past Ben and didn’t mention anything else. 

She didn’t need to say anything. Her body language was enough.

“Um, what did you want to say?” Rey asked, still not looking at Ben.

He doesn’t remember what he had said next, only that his body felt numb. It felt out-of-body. He _knew_ he said something along the lines of “Oh, nothing.”, but he felt disconnected with himself. His body moved on its own accord, but his soul felt like it was trapped in that moment.

He had watched Rey offer a small smile then leave the cockpit, probably to report to her party, and Ben did nothing to stop her. He sat glued to his seat, arms deadening by his sides as he watched Rey reappear outside before disappearing into The Tower. She didn’t look back and he felt powerless to stop the throb in his chest.

It had been an hour since his clumsy confession was rejected and Ben wanted to stay at his parent’s house for eternity. 

But then he remembered that Rey had access too so he couldn’t hide there forever, much to his chagrin. 

“Mama?” Ben called out, knowing Leia was right around the corner spying on him.

Her answer was immediate. “Yes?” Leia said, poking her head to look at him. There was a concerned look on her face. Understandable, since he only called her ‘Mama’ a few times in his adult life. 

He had to savor those moments with his mom. With things going south between himself and Rey, he couldn’t find any reason to stay on Chandrila anymore, which meant he would only see his parents once in a blue moon. 

“Wanna go out for dinner tonight?”

The suggestion caught Leia off guard. “Dinner? Sure, I’ll go ask the others--”

“No,” Ben quickly said. “Just us...and dad,” he added with a gulp. 

Leia’s mouth was in a thin line, eyes narrowed as she tried to figure out what was wrong. “Alright. Just us,” she eventually said. 

Ben exhaled slowly from his nostrils. Good, it would be just them. No Rey, since Leia had a habit of inviting Rey to every function, not matter how large or small it was.

He needed to spend time with his parents before terminating his assignment with Rey.

-

When Ben was younger, his parents argued a lot.

As much as they tried to hide it, he knew. Their awkward silence when he entered the room didn’t mask the strained atmosphere, and because he was Force-sensitive, he _felt_ their emotions buzzing in the air. 

He had...issues...as a child, heard voices he didn’t understand. 

He got better when he started to train with Luke.

Even better after his family finally spoke to one another.

Communication didn’t seem to be an Organa-Solo strong suit, but they made the effort, which changed his life drastically. 

Some of his burdens were lifted. 

His dad wasn’t around when he was a child, but he tried. 

After a few years of training and forcing his parents to sit down to get some emotions off his chest, Ben could see Han was trying to be the present dad he wished to be. 

_“Hey kid.”_

_Ben paused mid-step and turned around to see his dad hang back, arms crossed over his chest. Han looked uncomfortable, which was to be expected; he hadn’t said a word when his mom was present._

_Ben didn’t say anything, only giving Han a nod to proceed._

_Han sighed and broke his confident demeanor. “I...I didn’t know.” Ben rolled his eyes, which made Han cut in again. “--which shouldn’t be an excuse. It isn’t. It won’t be anymore,” Han said with finality after correcting himself. “You gotta understand I don’t get this Force stuff. I can’t relate. I...don’t know how I can help.”_

_Ben’s shoulders sagged along with his own stony attitude. “You don’t need to do anything. Just...be the dad I need. Nothing special. Just be you.”_

_Han offered a weak smile and immediately looked away - he was never one to talk about emotions but Ben appreciated the effort. He needed this. They both did--no, their family needed this._

The voices stopped not long after. Ben felt on edge for the following weeks but when it seemed like the ever-present voice was gone for good, he finally allowed himself to relax. 

There was still the ghost of an unfamiliar presence following him everywhere but at least he had more emotional support than he ever had in his life. 

It only took him sixteen years to be open to his parents, but better late than never. 

-

He saw the nervous glances they shot between each other. It was pretty hard for parents to be subtle but his were on another level entirely. A baby bantha running through the streets of Chandrila at night had more delicacy than them.

But he loved them all the same. 

He just wanted to have this dinner and pretend like everything was fine. 

Walking out into the open with the chilly city air filling his lungs, Ben stretched his arms high above his head. They were able to hold a few conversations that didn’t result in arguments or them outright asking what was wrong. It was a win for him.

“Ice cream. Let’s get some,” Ben said as Leia shrugged on her coat.

“Sounds good,” she said.

“Aw man, you know how my teeth are after ice cream,” Han complained.

“Then don’t get any,” Ben and Leia said in unison.

“One doesn’t just _skip on ice cream_ ,” Han said sagely. 

While Ben rolled his eyes, Leia flashed him a small grin and pulled Han towards the ice cream parlor they frequented. 

Ben doesn’t remember when they started going out for ice cream. Between his tumultuous childhood and training with Luke, ice cream was the furthest thing on his mind, so when had it become a thing?

It wasn’t until they were a few stops from the brightly lit cornershop that Ben realised why their family went out for ice cream so much, and by that time, it was too late.

“Oh, Rey! Nice to see you safe and sound!” Leia said.

Han scoffed. “Did we actually worry she was going to get hurt?”

While his parents approached Rey, Ben lingered behind, frozen in place with his eyes unmoving from her form. She was back in her Senator robes with an additional coat to combat the Chandrila chill. As Han and Leia chatted animatedly, neither seemed to notice how Rey hadn’t moved from her spot, hand suspended in front of her, gripping an ice cream cone. She hadn’t said a word to them either.

Of course Ben couldn’t remember how the tradition started.

Rey had always gone for ice cream whenever she met up with Leia or Han for meals.

It was Ben who had slotted himself into their lives, not her. 

And of course Rey would be here. 

After all, it was her favourite spot to get ice cream.


	4. Chapter 4

Paperwork was an absolute bitch. 

Rey growled and angrily ruffled her hair before throwing her face into her arms. You would think the Senate would give her a break after being kidnapped with her life being _potentially threatened_ , but no. If anything, her party did even _less_ in her absence, saying something about how they couldn’t work knowing their boss was in danger.

Rey scoffed; her life was in danger _every day_. 

Suddenly, Rey groaned, remembered she still had to deal with the fact that a crime boss _did_ die in her presence.

After using the Force, something no one knew she had.

In front of a bunch of members of the crime syndicate.

It was only a matter of time before the HoloNet caught wind, which would complicate things in The Tower. 

Would they request her resignation? Rey shivered, she didn’t want to think about that, but if the public and her sector demanded for it...well, she would have to cross that bridge when she came to it. 

She couldn’t quit! She still had so many regulations to implement! And legislations to change! 

“Ben, I need to talk to Ben,” Rey muttered to herself, reaching over to her telcom, only to freeze. She let out a small “ _oh”_ , remembering what had happened.

She was still avoiding him. Things would hopefully go back to ‘normal’ between them but Rey wanted at least this one night to herself to mentally freak out. She had called Leia earlier, hoping to ask for advice on any of the two problems in her life, but was told she already had plans. Cool, cool, cool, _cool_ , everything was _fine_.

By the time she cleared a considerable amount from her incoming stack of paperwork, night had fallen and the only thing she had to eat were ration packs she had stashed in her drawer for emergencies. Rey threw her weight against the back of her chair with a dramatic sigh and propped her feet on her desk. The paperwork did nothing to distract her from The Ben Problem. Her mind was so preoccupied that she had willingly eaten the rations, the same kind she was forced to survive on on Jakku. How her life had taken a turn.

Rey cradled her cheek with her elbow against her desk, and looked at the plush chair to her right. She had kept her office from before she became Senator, saying that it was easier than moving all her belongings across The Tower. 

Her office used to be very minimal. The chairs she had for visitors were the regulation type, like the rest of her furniture in her office. 

She had gotten the plush armchair, not only because her scavenger self couldn’t say no to a free armchair that was being given away near her apartment, but because she knew Ben would look ridiculous in the small, white chairs. There was no doubt that the metal legs would snap under the man’s body, and if he was going to be her bodyguard for the foreseeable future, then it wasn’t fair to force him into a tiny _thing_.

It wasn’t like it was a _gift_ for him. No, of course not...not that Ben noticed...not that he would. He had never been to her office before becoming her bodyguard. 

Rey’s stomach grumbled, reminding her once again that she had barely anything to eat since getting back to her office. She knew she needed something substantial to fill her stomach but-- _no_ ; she needed to be reckless for one night. Deciding she needed to indulge in poor life choices without any consequences for once, Rey grabbed her thick coat and made her way to the lower levels. 

She pulled her coat closer to her when she stepped outside. To others, it wasn’t cold enough to warrant a coat but Rey was more sensitive to the weather due to growing up on Jakku, which seemed contradictory to where she was headed. 

It blew her mind when Leia introduced her to ice cream. To have something so cold and so pleasant...Rey only wished she could have experienced it sooner. She knew it would have been virtually impossible to sell on Jakku, what with the poor economy and more paramount priorities like survival, but it didn’t stop her wistful sighs. 

Ice cream made her vulnerable. She always exhaled dreamily with her eyes closed when she had her first lick, the sweetness spreading across her tongue with happiness simmering at the surface. So many people got theirs in a cup but she always-- _always_ \--got a cone. She liked to think of it as reclaiming her childhood that never was. 

She was already making significant headway into her double-scoop cone when she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

“Oh, Rey! Nice to see you safe and sound!” Leia said, her arms linked with Han’s.

Rey’s heart dropped. It was possible that the pair was out on a date but Rey searched for the tall figure immediately, locating him not far behind. Their eyes locked and a heat started to unfurl across her chest, a heat that her ice cream could not dampen. 

_Crack!_

A thin line ran down the side of her cone. She could feel the ice cream start to seep from the seam but couldn’t care less. She had to get away. 

Han and Leia got closer while Ben remained a ways away, not moving from where he was. He stared at her intently. _Of course_ , it made sense now. Leia was unavailable because Ben probably wanted to have dinner with just them. He was avoiding her just as she was avoiding him, and they were his family so he was allowed to have alone time with them. Was...was this going to become a thing? 

It didn’t matter. This wasn’t how she had planned her night to go and she was determined to enjoy it the way she had planned. 

Which was basically paperwork with a side of panic, but it was what she had already mentally accepted.

The ice cream started to drip down her fingers that if she didn’t get out of there fast, Han or Leia would comment and she didn’t want to answer anyone’s questions. 

“Sorry guys, I gotta run. I left my stove on,” Rey said lamely, clueless as to what Ben’s parents had been talking about, and rushed past them. She gave Ben a wide berth and kept her head forward. She felt his eyes on her but refused to acknowledge him. She was already going to have a meltdown in her office so might as well look like she had her shit together while she could. 

Her trip back to the office was a blur. All she could see was Ben’s eyes on her, the way he stood, still like a statue, imprinted in the forefront of her mind. It wasn’t until she was alone in her office that she released the breath she was holding, back sliding down her closed door with ice cream dripping onto her carpeted floors. 

Why did she come back to her office? She should’ve just gone home and run a steaming hot bath. The scalding water would temporarily melt all her worries away.

Sighing, Rey started to lick her fingers and salvage the remains of her ice cream. She pat the floor with a few tissues, unbothered by the faint stain it left on the carpet, and wiped down her hands, the sticky residue replaced by a forest scent. 

It wasn’t late but Rey felt exhausted. Her mind was buzzing, which tired her even more. She switched off her office light so the lights from the city illuminated her room through her large windows. Tucking her feet under her, she snuggled into her plush armchair and stared out at the tall city buildings. It felt peaceful and as her mind started to wander, she could smell Ben on the armchair. She burrowed her head deeper into the fabric, pulling her coat around her so it acted like a blanket. 

Deep down, she knew why she didn’t go home. The smell of Ben didn’t linger in her home, but it did in her office, and just once, she wanted to indulge in her fantasy...just for one night. 

-

Taking a lick of her lychee and rose ice cream, Rey noticed Ben remained outside of the shop, arms crossed over his chest. His back was towards her but she could feel the frown that was permanently fixed on his face ever since he started his assignment with her. She rolled her eyes; she knew he would rather be anywhere but here but _god_ , it was annoying seeing how much of a child he was being about this. 

“You don’t want one?” she asked, leaning her shoulder against the entryway of the small ice cream parlor. 

“I’m on duty. It wouldn’t be very professional if I just went inside and got an ice cream,” he said, still with a frown on his face.

“No one’s judging you if you did. If anything, _I’m_ judging you for not getting one.” 

When he didn’t reply, Rey settled at the table outside the shop. A large umbrella was set up in the middle of the table but Rey could still feel the thick summer heat. There was currently a heat wave across the city, a rare occurrence but what the real oddity was that it affected Rey more than she had expected. She leaned back on the plastic chair with an arm propped over the back and licked her ice cream. Her senator robes were heavy and there was little she could do about it. She glanced to her right at Ben, taking in his own attire. Her robes were shades of beige and white while his were dark brown, so she could only imagine how hot he was, in direct sunlight too. 

That was why she insisted he get a cone as well. Neither of them could be in more comfortable garbs so an icy treat was the next best thing. Too bad Ben was being stubborn, as always. 

Rey exhaled through her nostrils and slouched further down her chair, uncaring how she looked. She closed her eyes and enjoyed how peaceful the moment was. In the shade, the heat was bearable and the slight breeze felt amazing against her exposed skin. 

Just as she started feeling like a Loth cat, she felt someone tower over her. Cracking an eye open, she saw Ben standing over her. She squinted and used her free hand to shield the sun that was behind Ben from view. She couldn’t see his face and was about to ask what was wrong when he bent down, his face becoming startlingly close.

She wanted to pull back but this was a rare moment for Rey. She held her ground, a thin film of sweat formed across her forehead, mirroring Ben’s.

“Ben…” Rey breathed, scared that speaking alone might shatter the moment. 

He inched closer, knees slightly bent with his large hands resting on them. Then, as if in slow motion, he licked the trail of melted ice cream running down Rey’s fingers. His eyes shut for a moment before opening them again, half lidded as he continued up to the half eaten scoop atop her cone. Rey wanted to close her eyes and bask in the sensation of his tongue dragging across her fingers, but forced them to remain open--she wasn’t going to miss this once in a lifetime experience. She wanted to permanently stamp the image of Ben--eyes closed with his cheeks flushed and his pink tongue darting out from between his lips--on the inside of her eyelids. 

It was...obscene. 

Vulgar…

Completely erotic. 

No one should look like that when eating ice cream, and he only had one lick! 

The way he retracted his tongue back into his mouth, lips coming together as he rolled the creamy dessert around his mouth, was unholy. 

“Sweet,” he hummed, peering at Rey from behind his long lashes.

A bead of sweat rolled down the side of Ben’s face and it took all her willpower not to take his face into her hand and lick it up as he had done. 

Instead, she swallowed the thick lump that formed in her throat and nodded numbly.

“I wonder...how this tastes…” he murmured as he closed the distance once more. She thought he was going for another lick of her ice cream, but he wasn’t. No, his full lips were going for something else.

Rey inched backwards, sliding further into her seat until there was nowhere else to go. Ben rested his palms on each armrest, caging her with his large body, as her ice cream dripped freely down her hand, abandoned. 

He smelt like spice and soap and she could hear and feel his breath on her skin. Rey tried to keep her eyes open, to memorise the pattern of moles decorated across his face, but they started to droop shut for the inevitable kiss.

The kiss that she had wanted for years.

She inhaled sharply when she felt the feathery touch of his lips and--

-

Rey jolted out of her armchair, body aching from being curled against the chair for so long. She blinked multiple times, unsure what had just transpired. The ache between her legs drew her back to the present, a sharp reminder that it was all just a dream. 

She blinked again as she slowly stretched out her legs, mind still reeling from her dream.

Her dream had happened in real life, but only to an extent. 

Rey had taken Ben for ice cream many times during her time as a Senator. 

And many times Ben had rejected any suggestion that he have one during work hours. 

But never in her life had Ben licked ice cream off her fingers...or made any inclination to kiss her.

Rey growled in frustration and threw her head into her hands. This was ridiculous. It was a miracle that Rey never had a dream about Ben until now...if she had, then any prospect of acting normal around him would be out of the window. 

She shifted forward and a blanked fell from her lap. Looking down at it stupidly, Rey didn’t remember using a blanket last night…

Did Ben visit her office last night? 

As if her body wasn’t on fire already, the blush on Rey’s face doubled. Oh _god_ , did she say anything in her sleep? She was sure she didn’t sleep talk but she had never had such a dream about Ben…

Sure, she had touched herself while thinking about him, but having a dream felt so much more personal, especially since nothing explicit had actually happened.

Kriff, she was a mess.

Sighing, Rey gathered the fallen blanket and threw it on the armchair behind her. She got up and stretched, toes curling in satisfaction as her bones and joints cracked. Her lazy smile froze when she spotted a holodisc on her desk. 

Thinking that maybe someone from her party wanted to deliver her a message, Rey played the disc, only for a very different face to appear.

“Rey, I’m sorry I cannot tell you this in person,” Ben’s hologram said. “This might be the coward’s way of doing this, but I think it’s best that we spend some time apart. I’ve been with you every day for years. I didn’t mind it before but now…” Ben trailed off and Rey’s grip on the holodisk tightened. _No...no, no, no, no--_ “I’ve notified Master Skywalker and he has agreed to terminate my contract, effective immediately. I think we can both agree that it’s time we go our separate ways. Well, not completely separate, since I’ll still see you from time to time, but-ah, you get what I mean.” Hologram-Ben stopped with a sad smile upon his face. During the whole message, his eyes were directed elsewhere and it was only at this point that he looked at the recorder, and at Rey. He smiled, one of those rare smiles that reached his eyes. “You’re going to do some amazing things. Don’t let the Senate hold you back-” Ben let out a snort. “-not that you’d let that happen. You’re Rey. I...I’ll see you around...maybe.”

The recording ended as suddenly as his message and as Hanna City started to wake up, Rey wished she hadn’t, if only to delay the heartache that began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo this was the last chapter i had prepared so now i actually have to work on this fic properly 😅
> 
> And yes, I know they're a hot mess like uRGH

**Author's Note:**

> please comment and let me know if you're enjoying my fic! <3


End file.
